Last night's Beverly Hills Housewives Show ...

Does anyone watch Bravo TV's the Housewives of Beverly Hills show?? I know we all have our opinions of reality tv but personally I can't get enough! This season of the BH housewives though has hit home with me because of Taylor Armstrong. As you may or may not know it comes out in this season that she is involved in an abusive relationship. It's tough to watch her unravel on the show but it's interesting to see what living with in that situation can do to a person. Trying to keep up appearances when deep down you're second guessing every thing you do and say to make sure you didn't trigger something that you'll be paying for later. It's upsetting to watch it on the show but I hope her struggles reaches at least one person living in an abusive situation and convinces that person to get help.

If you aren't familiar with the show, it came out before this season aired that Taylor's husband committed suicide. All the articles I read said that Russell was afraid of how he was portrayed on the show. But I don't think that's it. Taylor finally got the courage to leave him and had filed for divorce exactly one month, (to the day) earlier. I can't help but think that even in his death he was an abuser. Abuser's need to have control - over everything. We know that they manipulate situations and play mind games with their victims to maintain that power over them. Russell killing himself, leaves that lasting memory with his wife - that even in his death he was in control - and the guilt she must be feeling especially for her child will stay with her for a long time.

After the show they do a live recap show called, "Watch What Happens Live" and the guest star of last nights recap show was Taylor. It's been about 5 months since Russell's death and I thought Taylor was doing fabulously. She talked about getting help and going to therapy and she's even written a book about her situation called, Hiding from Reality: My Story of Love, Loss and Finding the Courage Within. Taylor talked about hoping that even if her story, struggle, and eventual freedom only helped one person it would have been worth putting out there.

Whenever you hear a survivor's story the common denominator always is - they weren't alone. They got help and got out! Keeping your situation inside and trying to deal with it by yourself is not healthy and eventually the proverbial poop will hit the fan! Perhaps Taylor expressed it better last night when she said she felt like she had been holding the lid on a pot of boiling water, just waiting for the water to boil over. I think we can all agree that's no way to live. Please if you or someone you know is living with abuse - GET HELP! No matter where you are there is an anti domestic violence organization that can talk you through what your options are. If you're having trouble locating someone go to the police station. You don't need to file a report or even give them your name and they can give you a list of resources in your area. You can always reach out to me and the Woodbridge, NJ domestic violence response team. We will help point you towards someone in your area that can help!

Just remember ... you're strong, your beautiful, and you're not alone!!

DV Awareness month is right around the corner

Hi All!!

As you may or may not know, October is Domestic Violence awareness month. We have LOTS going on and I figured I'd do a post about it to break it down for everyone ....

Event #1 - The St. James Street Festival
When: Sept. 17th from 10am - 5pm
Where: Main St. in Woodbridge, NJ
The Woodbridge Domestic Violence Response Team will have a table at this event. Come for the music, games, and food and stop by for some good information that might help save the life of some one you know! Interested in joining our team? This is a great way to get to know some of the team members and find out more about how we help out in the community!

Event #2 - Breakfast
When: October 16th from 8am to 12pm
Where: St. Andrews Church basement in Avenel, NJ
Tickets are available from any DV member (will also be sold at the street fair) or can be purchased at the door! Prices are $8.00 for adults, $6.00 for children 11-6, and $6.00 for seniors. Stop by and enjoy a home cooked breakfast all while supporting a great cause.

Event #3 - Hands are for Helping Art Contest
When: Starting September 16th and ends October 16th
What: All entries can be dropped off at any of the Woodbridge Libraries (Woodbridge Main Library, Iselin Library, Fords Library, and Henry Inman Colonia Library) or at the Community Center. Entries can also be mailed to our main office if that's easier for you! Below is the flyer about the contest with all of the information you'll need to know on how to enter!!



After all entries have been received and the winners tabulated we are hosting an awards ceremony on October 26th, 2011 at the Barren Arts Center. The doors will open at 6:30pm and the awards will be given promptly at 6:45pm! All works of art will be displayed during the ceremony and through the rest of the week until November 7th. The mayor will even be in attendance to speak about our organization as well as to hand out the awards!! It should be an awesome event and we are all extremely excited about it!

So as you can see we have a busy busy next few weeks coming up! Hope everyone can come out and take part in the various events we have going on! Looking forward to seeing everyone there!!

4th Annual 5k Walk to end Domestic Violence was a SUCCESS!!!

Hey everyone! 

Just wanted to write a follow up blog about our walk! What a fabulous day it was! The Walk Staff gathered around 7:00am to help set-up! We had a huge food tent and lots of tables where we served breakfast and lunch to the hungry walkers and workers!! We were extremely grateful to Knot Just Bagels in Woodbridge for donating the yummy bagels we all enjoyed as well as to the Starbucks in Iselin for the coffee and tea! Dunkin Donuts also supplied us with some yummy munchkins to keep the sugar rush going! 

The stage was set-up in preparation for our speakers and our awesome DJ, Tiffany Welch, played some fabulous tunes to set the mood for the day!! 

Our first speaker of the day was DVRT member Louise!! She helped start us off by sharing some important facts about Domestic Violence and how important it is to be informed about this epidemic and how to get help if needed! She also spoke about all the hard work our team puts in to help spread the word about our group and the services we offer! 

Next we had Woodbridge's Mayor McCormick speak about how important this group is to the community. We really appreciated the mayor taking time out of his super busy schedule to stop by and support us! Props Mayor McCormick!! After Mayor McCormick we had Council-Woman Brenda Velasco stand up to say a few words about the importance of our team and how proud she was of all the great work we do for our community! Thanks Councilwoman Velasco for the awesome support!!

Next up was our very own Captain Peggy Schmidt who is our police liaison for the DV team!! She helps make sure we are safe when responding to a DV call and helps us coordinate with the police officers to make sure everything runs as smoothly as possible so we can help the victims as much as we can together!! She gave the Woodbridge DV team props for their outstanding work in the community and she also helped introduce our last speaker - one of the many survivors of domestic violence. 

I have to say listening to the survivor's plight from the survivor herself was so moving. She talked about the pain her and her children went through and their struggles to over come their situation and how they came to seek help with the Woodbridge DVRT. The courage she had to get up and speak about her own situation was unbelievable. I know I started tearing up listening to her story. It was an important reminder about why we were there that day and who we help by volunteering our time!!

After our wonderful speakers were done we kicked off the walk just about 10am! We were lucky enough to have the Woodbridge High School marching band there to help play us off!! While it was a little chilly earlier in the day the sun was shinning now as all the walkers marched on under the purple and white balloon archway from Floral Expressions! The walk was 5K - roughly 3 times around the park. Walkers were able to read some important DV facts on signs that had been placed around the tracker earlier in the day. 

When everyone completed their walk we all gathered back at the food tent for yummy Hot-dogs and great conversation! Everyone especially enjoyed the delicious cake donated by Dorsi's Bakery!! 

We concluded the day with a little electric slide, some line dancing, and lots of hugs!! The money we raised is going to be a tremendous help towards our goal of ending Domestic Violence!! 

A super huge thank you to everyone who donated to this awesome day - whether it was your time, money, food, support or love - we appreciate it more then words can express!!!

Up-Coming EVENTS

Hey everyone -- this post is basically just a list of our up coming events for the month of April! We hope to see you all there to help support us in our quest to end Domestic Violence! 

Promoting Awareness on Saturday, April 16th - Look for us on Main St. in Woodbridge starting around 10:30am. A few members will be walking up and down Main St. carrying signs about Domestic Violence to promote awareness of this horrible epidemic. 


Candle Light Vigil on Wednesday, April 20th - Starting at 6pm at the Barron Arts Center on Rahway Ave, we will join together to honor those who have lost their lives to Domestic Violence. There were 4,686 reported cases of domestic violence in Middlesex County alone in 2009. Show your support for these Victims by joining us at the Barron Arts Center!

Step Up! 5K Walk on Saturday, April 30th - Join us at the Alvin P. Williams park in Sewarren for our 4th annual walk to help end domestic violence! Registration/Breakfast begins at 9am and the walk starts at 10. For more information on how you can get involved please see our website - www.woodbridgedvrt.org

 

DVRT 4th Annual STEP UP! Walk to end Domestic Violence

Ok Ladies and Gentlemen -- now's the time to tell you all about our walk on April 30th.

This is the 4th time we're hosting this walk and each year it just gets better and better!! As you know the Woodbridge Domestic Violence Response Team is completely self-supporting and relies on fund raisers like this to keep us going! The funds raised from the walk go to helping the victims of domestic violence. In the past this team has paid rent, various bills, provided gift cards for local super markets, gave gift cards for local stores during the holidays and school time. Proceeds raised also go towards: Resources, informational pamphlets and hand outs for victims; Education programs for school children and the community; Continuing domestic violence education and training for team members!

Now let's talk logistics ...

Where: Alvin P. Williams Memorial Park in Sewaren, NJ

When: April 30th, 2011
Registration and breakfast begin at 9am
Walk starts at 10am.
Walk ends around 1pm followed by lunch

How: Check out our website - http://www.woodbridgedvrt.org/pages/eventsinfo.html#walkinfo - all the forms are on there to download! There's the basic registration form, our Ad Book letter and form, the booster form, and the walk poster! I included the walk registration form at the bottom of this blog so you can print it off from there. And you can always email us at dvteam@woodbridgedvrt.org with any questions you may have or to get any forms emailed or mailed to you!

The day promises to be a blast!! Get a bunch of friends together and form a team! Put up posters around your house to help spread the word! Let's come together and get involved in this fantastic cause!!

I Got Flowers Today

Dedicated to all battered women

By Paulette Kelly

I got flowers today!

It wasn’t my birthday or any other special day.

We had our first argument last night. And he said a lot of cruel things that really hurt.

I know that he is sorry and didn’t mean to say the things he said

Because he sent me flowers today.

I got flowers today!

It wasn’t our anniversary or any other special day.

Last night he threw me into a wall and then started choking me.

It seemed like a nightmare, but you wake up from nightmares to find they aren’t real.

I got flowers today!

It wasn’t Valentine’s Day or any other special day.

Make up and long sleeves didn’t hide the cuts and bruises this time.

I couldn’t go to work because I didn’t want anyone to know - but I know he’s sorry

Because he sent me flowers today.

I got flowers today!

And it wasn’t Mother’s Day or any other special day.

Last night he beat me again, and it was much worse than all the other times.

If I leave him now, what will I do? How will I take care of the kids? What about money?

I’m afraid of him, but I’m too scared and dependent to leave him. But he must be sorry

Because he sent me flowers today.

I got flowers today...

Today was a very special day - It was the day of my funeral.

Last night he finally killed me - I was beaten to death.

If only I would have gathered the courage and strength to leave him.

The woman’s shelter could have helped me, but I didn’t ask for their help.

So I got flowers today...for the last time.

How can I help?

First let us thank you for taking this first step to support us! Help is always greatly appreciated no matter what form it is in. There are a couple ways to help!

The first way is in the form of a donation. Donations are always welcome in various forms. There is a link to our paypal account on our website -- http://www.woodbridgedvrt.org/pages/donate.html -- or you can mail in a check to DVRT 1 Main St. Woodbridge, NJ 07095. If you are interested in donating food or clothing please call or email so we can properly assess our needs and where your donations will be the most appreciated! 

The second way is to become a volunteer and join our team! All prospective volunteers are required to complete an application. You can download the application from our website -- http://www.woodbridgedvrt.org/document/DV_Application.pdf
Once your completed application is received, a criminal background check and an interview will be conducted. All applicants must possess a valid NJ driver's license and have their own transportation to police headquarters for assistance calls. Please note: Applicants that have criminal records or have been convicted of domestic violence may be denied acceptance. Other conditions that may prevent an applicant's approval include, but are not limited to, psychiatric or mental problems, inability to read, write, or clearly speak English, alcohol or substance abuse problems, or any other issue that may interfere with the applicant's ability to assist a domestic violence victim.

After your application has been approved you will then need to attend 40 hours of training conducted during evening and/or weekend hours. Here you will learn valuable information about domestic violence and how to help a victim in need. Once the mandatory classroom training is completed, the new members will spend their first 10 hours in the field with a veteran team for additional training experience. Team members are required to be "on call" a minimum of 2 shifts per month. While the team member is "on call", s/he will need to be accessible by phone and the police department will call the team member to respond to headquarters to assist a victim. The team members are expected to respond immediately when called. Additional training may be required during the team members' time on the team.

In addition to responding to headquarters to assist victims, the team is involved in many community events to promote public awareness and education on domestic violence. All team members are expected to participate in as many events as possible. Team meetings are held once a month to discuss these events and other team related doings.

While this team does do a wonderful service to the township of Woodbridge by helping it's domestic violence victims, we also promote community pride with the various functions we host during the year. We hope you will considering joining us as a team member or at any one of our many gatherings around town!

More about the Woodbridge Twp. DVR Team

The Woodbridge Twp. Domestic Violence Response Team was created in 1993. Initially with only 7 members we've grown to roughly 35 members now, and are always looking for more! We are an all volunteer team and completely self-supporting. We hold fund raisers during the year and rely on the kindness of our neighbors to raise money for our cause. All of the proceeds go towards helping the community. We use the funds raised to purchase resources, informational pamphlets, and handouts for victims; educational programs for school children and the community; and continuing domestic violence education and training for new and existing team members.

We work hand in hand with the Woodbridge Police Department to provide the best possible support and assistance to each victim. A member is always on call - we are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year to the community we service. To date we have offered assistance to thousands of victims of domestic violence and made many strides in educating our community. We provide support and assistance to any victim, regardless of race, religion or gender. Unfortunately, we have much more work to do as domestic violence remains at epidemic proportions. In 2010 there were 923 reported cases of domestic violence in Woodbridge Twp alone! Imagine how many more cases went unreported.  

There are multiple ways to reach us: 

1) The best way is for you to go down to the Woodbridge Twp Police Department and ask to speak with the volunteer on call. They will call one of our training seasoned members to come down to the station to meet with you.

2) You can call our phone number 732-634-4500, ext. 2812. The number is not maned 24/7 but you are welcome to leave a message and someone will get back to you shortly.

3) You can email us at dvteam@woodbridgedvrt.org. This email address is also not maned 24/7 but someone will return your email as soon as possible. 

Again - your absolute best way to reach someone is to go down to the police station and ask to speak with a member. Someone is on call every day of the year to listen, offer support and encouragement, discuss your options, and provide any information assistance you may need.